My Respect for you is to Die
by AryssaTheGirl
Summary: Ayako Kutashoni has served and worked for L Ryuuzaki as his personal assistant for 5 years, and never understood what kind of respect she had for him. When Kira comes to their attention, she'll find out just how she would give up and her care for him.
1. Chapter 1

_Knock knock knock._

"L-san, it's Ayako. It's almost time for you to meet with the other detectives about the Kira case."

Silence.

Ayako's eye twitched. "Goddamn." She kicked open the door. "Burden of my life, I swear!" She blinked. "Huh?"

There sat L Ryuuzaki in a chair, sitting in the way he usually does. "So you kick down a door just because there's no answer, Ms. Kutashoni?"

Ayako gaped at her employer. "This is _not _worth what I'm getting paid."

"You're the one who asked for the job, if not beg."

Another eye twitch. "Don't remind me." She blew copper stands of hair out of her eyes. "What the hell are you doing?"

L pointed to the computer screen. "Another suicide note."

Ayako sat down on the floor a few feet away from him. She dusted off her black bootcut pants and buttoned the top button of her red-burgundy vest. She had overslept, therefore she was in a hurry to get ready in the morning.

"The messages Kira leaves make no sense. 'L, do you know death gods love apples'? The hell?"

"You're not a detective, you're my personal assistant. Don't think or worry about it… And you forgot something last night." L pointed at her neck.

Ayako felt her neck- her choker necklace she always wore was gone. Her eyes widened and she let out a slight gasp. _Shit!_

L held up the choker necklace with a black agate stone in the middle. "Forget this here again, I'll throw it away." He tossed it to her.

Ayako caught it, quickly put it on and stood up. "We should head over to the station. I'll drive."

L stood up and walked with her out to the car. "If we end up being late, I'll kick you." He said as he sat in the passenger's seat in his usual style.

Ayako gulped. "Good to know." She slammed her foot on the gas pedal and sped on her way to their destination.

"Who taught you how to drive?"

"My cousin!" Ayako snapped. "Trust me, I drive better than he tried to teach me how to. Be glad."

L nodded. "Very well."

They soon reached the Japanese Police Task Force main office building. Ayako could already hear the usual greeting she received. She braced herself as she opened the door.

Almost immediately, her face was only inches away from another man's, whose mop of black hair could almost touch her forehead.

"Hey there Ayako!" The man smiled.

Ayako slapped him across the face with such force he was slammed into the wall that was a few feet to her left. "Tetsuwa, get in my face again, if you _yell _again, I'm going to shove a spoon down your throat and dig out your vocal chords." She said in an unamused tone. Tetsuwa grabbed and rubbed his throat.

Ayako held the door open for L, who was following behind her. "Already making violent threats and it's only 10:45 in the morning." He said as he passed her.

Ayako pushed up her glasses. "You should know that's earlier than usual."

Once L and the other agents went into another room- leaving Ayako and Tetsuwa alone- Ayako banged her forehead on the wall and let out a small moan. Tetsuwa walked over next to her and leaned against the wall.

"Late night?"

"God, you have no idea." Came Ayako's muffled reply, her face completely flat against the wall.

Tetsuwa walked a few feet away from her and shrugged. "I don't see why you work for that guy. He's so-"

Before he could finish, the nose of a Walther P38 was pressing against the back of his head.

"If you say bizarre, messed up, awkward, abnormal or freaky, a bullet goes through your head." Ayako said coldly.

"Fine, fine! Strange! Odd! How's that?" Tetsuwa stuttered nervously.

Ayako put the Walther P38 in her messenger bag. "Good enough."

"How is that 'good enough'? Those could be even worse than some of the other adjectives you said!"

Ayako turned to open the door. "Because they're both something I can agree with." She walked out the door, got in her car, and drove off.

Tetsuwa glanced away from the pencil he'd been balancing on his nose and looked at the door as he heard it open. In walked Ayako holding a box. Her eye twitched.

"I can't believe I'm doing this…"

Tetsuwa sat forward. "Is that…?"

Ayako sat the box on the edge of Tetsuwa's desk. "Damn his obsession with candy or anything sweet."

Tetsuwa smirked to himself and cracked a smile. "That's why he has you, isn't it?"

_Slap! _"Don't be sick! It's a professional, business relationship!"

"Ah hah. Sure." Tetsuwa said leaning back in his chair, purposely distancing himself away from Ayako. "Then why are you so eager to do everything he says?"

"I'm his personal assistant! AND I'M NOT EAGER!"

"Exactly. I'm sure he wouldn't pick just anybody."

Ayako raised an eyebrow. "What are you getting at?"

Tetsuwa smiled. "The only reason he keeps you around is because you and your personality are as delightful and sweet as the candy and treats he so much enjoys!"

Suddenly, Tetsuwa's seat was harshly kicked forward, causing his stomach to ram into the ledge of his desk and his forehead have a head-on collision wuth one of the shelves. His face ended up bouncing off the shelf and being faceplanted on the actual surface of the desk.

L stood behind him. "Flirt with my personal assistant again, I'll kick you _harder._" He said, staring straight at the much-in-pain Tetsuwa.

Tetsuwa looked up at Ayako. "That's POSSIBLE?"

Ayako picked up the box, acting as if the past thirty seconds never happened. "Oooh yeah." She turned to L. "Want me to put the cake in the conference room?"

"Please."

Ayako and L walked into the conference room, completely ignoring the groaning-in-pain Tetsuwa.


	2. Chapter 2

"Would you like some cake, Ayako?"

"I'm good." Ayako sighed. "So Matsurada, what've we got?"

"Always straight down to business with you…" He replied.

"Last chance for cake, Ayako."

Ayako held back another sigh. "Thanks for the offer L-san, but I think I'll last."

"More for me."

Ayako cleared her throat. "Matsurada…" She raised an eyebrow.

Matsurada straightened up. "We still can't find any more new clues or leads. We have nothing."

"Wonderful." Ayako rolled her eyes. "So L-san's pretty much the main hope you guys _have. _To be expected from L-san."

Everyone heard a door open and close. "Sorry I'm late."

All heads turned to the doorway. Ayako gaped in horror. "Light Yagami? Are you KIDDING me?"

L looked up at her, staying seated the way he always does. "He's actually very intelligent, Ayako."

Ayako bowed her head slightly so her bangs hid the image of her white irises and pupilless eyes flash a light lavender color. She tried keeping her eyes hidden, but L knew exactly what is was. "I don't like or trust him. Simple as that. Hmph."

Soichiru sighed. "We apologize for her behavior."

L smiled slightly, which Ayako believed she could 'See right through'. "It's quite alright."

Ayako restrained herself from attempting to strangle him. She banged her forehead against the wall and groaned. "This is _not _my day."

L held a strawberry out to her. She stared a moment, then accepted it. "Thanks, L-san…"

L simply nodded.

After discussing the recent Kira events, L asked Ayako to wait in the car for him while he talked with Light for a bit. She reluctantly did so. After a segment of time, L came back out and sat in the passenger seat the way he usually sits. Ayako handed him a cup of coffee she had managed to run and get during the time L and Light were talking. After taking it, he glanced at her.

"You foresaw something." It clearly wasn't leading to a question.

Ayako sighed and started driving. "I'm the Foresighter, I tend to do that. I explained this five years ago when I first started working for you. The Foresighter's job is to ensure that fate stays and goes as it should and that the world, life in general, remains balanced and stable. The universe is to stay as is. In order for us to succeed and do the job efficiently, we need to know everything- literally."

"And yet you don't know who Kira is."

Ayako's eye twitched. "That's what my foresights are for! It comes in bits and pieces!"

L took another drink from his coffee. "Did you see anything relevant?"

"Nothing we didn't see coming. More criminals dead, and some officers- no good news. All I'm permitted to say is that Kira's three steps ahead of us." She pulled into a driveway and looked at L. "L-san…"

L was quiet for a moment, thinking. "We'll have to catch up with him then."

Ayako smirked. "You're a sore loser."

"As are you." L pointed out.

"As is Kira…" Ayako breathed to herself.

There was an awkward silence, and then L got out of the car, Ayako following close behind. L suddenly came to a stop, causing Ayako to bump right into him. She jumped back a few feet, face a light shade of red.

"I-I'm so sorry, L-san! I didn't…!"

L looked over his shoulder at her. "Why are we in front of your house?"

Ayako blinked, realizing she accidentally drove straight to her house instead of the apartment L was staying in. "Unintentional…"

L continued to walk inside. "Since we're here, I think I'll see what food you have."

"Oh please, you're just going to invade whatever sweet, candy, or anything involving-" Her eyes widened. "Wait, don't go-"

The door already closed behind him. She ran inside and burst open the door. She was too late. The first thing she saw was L being interrogated by her best friend Lassader, who was allowing her to stay at his place seeing as she had nowhere else to go.

"Lassader! Quit bombarding L-san with questions!"

Lassader brushed his blonde locks of hair out of his glasses. "This is L? The one you talk non-stop about?" He grabbed L's hand and shook it enthusiastically with a ridiculous smile on his face. "It's an honor to meet you! I'm Lassader!"

Ayako side-kicked him, thwacking him into the couch. She rubbed the back of her head nervously and looked at L. "I really don't talk about you that much…" She glared at Lassader. "Get that smug look off your face, I told you not to get the wrong idea! PROFESSIONAL. RELATIONSHIP." She added, knowing Lassader's mind.

L got really close up to Lassader's face the way he usually would, making Lassader nervous. He glanced at Ayako, staying in Lassader's face. "Do I need to kick him?"

Ayako flapped her hand. "It's fine, it's fine. He's an ex-cop, he won't do anything too stupid." She slapped her hand over her forehead. "What a time to quit." She looked up. "L-san, you can get out of his face now."

L backed away and sat in a chair, crouching the way he always does. Lassader looked at Ayako. "Why does he sit so awkwardly?"

"He'd only be 60% L-san if he didn't." Came her blunt and effortless reply. She sighed. "Let me go see if we have any cake." She walked out.

Lassader laid down on the couch. "She's been getting less and less sleep… I wish she'd let herself catch a break. I've actually been following up on the case and how you guys are doing- she talks in her sleep."

"As I am aware." L nodded.

Lassader stared at the ceiling. "She does mention you a lot. I know it's professional, understand I'm just messing with her. She's my best friend, almost like a sister, I feel I have the right to."

"It would be smart of you to stop."

Lassader laughed. "Nah. But don't worry." He winked. "I take care of her in your absence."

Ayako poked her head around the corner and tossed L a sucker. "Use that for now- cake's in the oven. Looks like you're having dinner here." She sighed. "I'm living a nightmare…"

Lassader laughed. L glanced at Ayako. _I wonder how these two are so close…_ _Perhaps it's for another time. _


	3. Chapter 3

**I know, I know, I've been updating and posting chapters up the a$$. This chapter takes place two weeks after the previous chapter.**

"L-san, you know I'm only worried of you sleep deprivation, it's driving me crazy. You really should get more sleep."

"As should you."

Ayako's eye twitched. "Yes, yes. No matter. I suppose that makes it even." She sighed. "In either case, about Kira… Earlier I had a foresight. Even though we already had clues to this, all he really needs is to know the face and name. I think, or so I've gathered, that may be the main key. I could be wrong."

"Your foresights have yet to be wrong."

They both stopped in front of Ayako's house, L walked her to the door. "I'll see you in two hours." Ayako bid him goodbye, went inside and closed the door.

Lassader was laying on the couch as usual. "So, how'd it go?"

She slumped in the chair across from him and massaged her temples. "We just ran a couple errands. I go to his hotel room to get updates on the case in two hours, for now I'm just relaxing a bit here."

Lassader nodded. "Sure sure." He smiled and glanced at her.

Ayako raised an eyebrow. "What's that look for…?"

Lassader laughed. "Nothing, nothing. You seem to enjoy spending time with him."

"It can be a pain in my ass."

"CAN BE being the key words, my dear friend." He smiled at her sincerely. "You sure do respect him, don't you?"

Ayako turned her head to the side. "I don't know, I suppose. I don't know why, but it's like… Whenever he tells me to do something, I have the urge to get right on it. No hesitation. It's just… I myself am not even sure what exactly it is. Respect, most likely. But it almost feels like… I don't know, I'm not even sure how much or how real that respect is. You know me, I don't respect anyone or do anything for anyone else."

Lassader sighed. "True. When he asks you to do something, you do it immediately. When I ask you to do something, you say 'Do it yourself, ya' lazy dumbass'."

Ayako rolled her eyes. "I don't get it either. I'm not really into helping people. L on the other hand… Well, he is a detective, and an AMAZING one at that…"

"You REALLY admire that, don't you…?" Lassader looked at the ceiling.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Lassader smiled. "I've heard from you how he solves every single one of the cases he does. You've also mentioned he only does cases he takes personal interest in." He paused. "With the exception of-"

Ayako had her Walther P38 out. "If you were about to say _that_ case, I swear to god-"

Lassader held up his hand. "Calm down, calm down, my apologies… I'll never bring it up in front of you again, I'm sorry." He thought for a moment. "You know how I've been following the case?"

"Yes, you told the police task force."

"I just have to wonder… This has been the hardest case you two have had, and…"

Ayako glanced at him. "Stop right there." She looked away again, a small smile across her face. "I know we're going to solve this case, L-san can solve anything. I know he can. If anyone can figure this case out, it's L-san. He's going to, I know it." She smiled more confidently.

Lassader was surprised for a moment that she was smiling, then smiled at her softly. "He's lucky he's got a wonderful assistant like you who believes in him so much and is always there to back him up. I think that's very loyal of you. I think you've been a bigger help to him than you think."

"Meh, I doubt it." She sat up. "Having a little faith never hurt anybody." Her eyes flashed, and her face grew blank.

_Light Yagami. Black notebook with unclear writing on it. Blurry surrounding and unclear image of a man having a heartattack. A blank text message and another that was also unclear. Misery. Screaming. The sound of a woman crying._

Ayako shook her head, eyes shut tight. _What _was _that…_

Lassader looked at her seriously. "Is something wrong?"

Ayako shook her head again. "It's nothing… Just another foresight…" _What was Light doing in there… What was that book… Why did I get such a depressing feeling?_

Lassader looked her up and down. "Uh huh… Sure." He glanced at the clock. "You should probably get going."

Ayako stood up. "Yeah…" She headed towards the door. She heard the phone ring, Lassader answered it. She stopped.

"Oh, hey! How are ya'? Good… Yeah, that's true. What about it…?"

Ayako decided to leave it and walk outside. "He can take care of himself."

_Knock knock knock. _"L-san, it's me."

"Come on in."

Ayako did so and sat in the chair next to L's. L was currently looking at the computer screen, watching many of Kira's murder incidents closely. Ayako stared at him for a moment, then at the computer screen. "How long?"

"The entire time I've been waiting for you to come back from your 'break'."

Ayako sighed. "Sorry, I just needed to relax a bit."

L nodded. "I understand."

"Besides, it only takes me twenty minutes to get here-" Her cell phone buzzed. She reached in her purse and pulled it out. She flipped it open. "Huh, that's odd…"

L glanced over. "What is it?"

Ayako looked at him. "A blank text." _A blank text… _She blinked. 3… 2… 1…

Another text message.

Ayako opened it and read it.

_You don't know what it was like to watch you with him. Lose you, I didn't want to ever happen. Another piece was all I was to you. Round and round, it was a wild goose chase. Ayako, Goodbye._

Ayako looked at the number, her eyes widened and she dropped the phone. She got up and ran to the door. L picked the phone up and followed her out to the car. He read over the text message as she drove.

_You… Lose… Another… Round… Ayako… _L looked up. _Kira… What do you know about her? What is it that you want?_

They pulled into the driveway of Ayako and Lassader's residence. Ayako ran inside. L watched after her and slowly followed behind. When he got into the house he saw Ayako crying over Lassader's lifeless body. He was gone.

"Damn you, Kira…"


End file.
